Once during lunch on a silent retreat, I thought of a character named “The Big Flower.” The Big Flower is like St. Thérèse “The Little Flower,” but rather does everything big. The Big Flower would be the patron saint of Texas, would send down a shower of pumpkins from heaven, and would be a proponent of the spiritual practice known as “reverse fasting.”
Though that’s mostly a joke, I don’t think it’s irrelevant to my walk with Christ that my mind drifted to The Big Flower. Since the day I realized that I am called to be a saint, I have sought to do great things for God. I thought perhaps I should found a religious order or become a missionary or process the Eucharist around the world or build a church on the moon. It made it hard to discern the Lord’s voice; if He wasn’t asking from me the greatest thing I could dream, what was He saying? And if holiness didn’t mean massive influence for God, what else could it mean?
We human beings have an eternity-sized hunger for God, so I thought I should express that through doing big things. But St. Thérèse had a titanic thirst for God which she expressed through tiny acts of great love. “All we accomplish, however brilliant, is nothing without love,” she said. St. Thérèse also said, “Jesus does not ask for glorious deeds. He asks only for self-surrender and for gratitude.” And so, she taught me the way of peace. Rather than anxiously worrying if I have done enough to please God, I ought to focus on thanking Him for His love of me in Christ. The saints didn’t seek people’s admiration—and they often weren’t admired in life!—rather, the saints sought to do all things, even small things, for the sake of grateful love of God. My vocation is the love of God, and the rest is just a footnote.
There is no such person as “the Big Flower.” But there is a Gardener, and His garden is very beautiful. It is for Him to give the growth, and for me to give the thanks, and so today I thank Him for His hugely beautiful little flower. St. Thérèse of Lisieux, pray for us!
Alex White, C.S.C.
Published 01 October 2024
Alex White, C.S.C. is a fifth-year professed Seminarian with the Congregation of Holy Cross. This year, Alex is serving at St. Ignatius Martyr Parish- a Holy Cross Parish in Austin, Texas.
