The Holy Cross Mission Center is committed to sharing the stories of Holy Cross missionaries from the U.S. Province who dedicated their lives to Christ through their ministries in the missions. Below are a selection of reflections on the life of Rev. H. Thomas McDermott, C.S.C., 73, who passed away on July 20, 2024.

Readers who are interested in sharing their own tributes to Holy Cross missionaries are invited to email the Holy Cross Mission Center at hcmc@holycrossusa.org. 

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Homily for Funeral Mass of Fr. Tom McDermott, C.S.C.

By Rev. Thomas O’Hara, C.S.C.

We bring to the Lord this day a good and holy man who worked hard in his life to help those around him, especially those who struggled to find hope and promise in their lives. We bring to the Lord a Holy Cross priest who was passionate in promoting the hope, the peace, and the justice of Jesus Our Lord.

On behalf of the Congregation of Holy Cross, we extend to the family of Fr. Tom McDermott, his sisters Mary Kay, Peg, Sally, Mary Anne and his brothers, Jim and Joe, their spouses, his many nephews and nieces and all who loved Tom, our deepest condolences. We mourn with you, but as Tom lived his life, we take great comfort, indeed rejoice with Tom that he is at Peace with the Lord whom he loved so clearly.

There are 2 readings we have just heard and let me suggest Tom not only understood those readings, but he also lived them, for Tom made these readings come to life.

In the first reading the prophet Isaiah speaks of God telling those who struggled that one day God would make for them a feast of rich food with aged wines and that feast would wipe away any shroud of sadness the people felt, so much so that any tears would be wiped away. It would be said on that day, “This is our God, this is the One for whom we have waited, for he will save us.” My sisters and brothers, here we are. We are assembled at this great feast of the One who saves us and the nourishing food that can wipe away our tears, lift the shroud of sadness, is the Food of eternal life, the Body and Blood of our Lord. For this we rejoice! Indeed, in a profound way, our brother Tom brings us, from all walks of life to this feast together.

It may seem a bit odd to hear of rejoicing at a funeral mass but anyone who knew Tom knew he loved to rejoice. He loved to create the party, the party that brought joy, life, and hope. I vividly remember being in seminary with Tom and if times were tough and you needed someone who could create a party, you turned to Tom McDermott. And in his ministry as a priest, he was particularly drawn to those who most needed to find joy in their lives. In this country, in Kenya and Uganda, in Bangladesh, Tom was a messenger of joy to those who were, as Isaiah said, struggling in sorrow, loss of hope, or shrouded by darkness of life. Time and time again, he helped the struggling feel as though they were on the mountainside with the wines and food of a great Feast. Tom brought Jesus to them and brought them to Jesus. 

I vividly remember in our parish in Bugembe, Uganda, one Christmas midnight mass, Tom reveled in dancing up the aisle with great joy. His joy lit up the Church and the people laughed with him (or at him, I do not think he cared) for he was bringing them to that great feast on the Mountainside where they would encounter their God. They knew it. They felt it because Tom poured his heart into it. 

And Tom, though dedicated to those on the margins, knew all strata of God’s people needed to lift the shroud of darkness and find the joy of the Lord. In Dhaka I would attend his masses for the diplomatic corps and see the same joyful Tom help these learned individuals discover newfound hope in the midst of their struggles. Tom, who was comfortable in the toughest parts of Dhaka, was also comfortable at roof top diplomatic parties and was often the life of the celebration. Truth be told, he once confided to me it was important to know how to work for the poor and party with the wealthy!

And so, as Isaiah said come to the mountain where you will encounter a loving God who will allow you to rejoice, Tom McDermott was often one who led poor and rich alike to that mountain top and he leads us here today.  

The gospel is perhaps much more familiar to us, the Beatitudes. We know these words, indeed quite challenging and in many ways counter to most of the world’s cultures. In a world where we seek comfort and freedom from struggle or pain, Jesus reverses our natural thoughts. Blessed are those who mourn, who are weak, who hunger and thirst for righteousness, who are persecuted, reviled, and hated because they follow the Lord. Blessed are all those because they will live in the Lord. Jesus reminds us, even if the world is ready to dismiss you or desert you, rejoice and be glad for you are blessed and your reward will be great in heaven. 

Most of us, good people that we are, understand this message and we do our part to pray for those who suffer and yet in a strange way are blessed. We may even have an intellectual understanding of what Jesus is saying in the Beatitudes. Let me suggest that for Tom McDermott the Beatitudes were not a prayerful or intellectual understanding of this message of Jesus. Fr. Tom McDermott lived the Beatitudes.

From his earliest days caring for the struggling, Tom brought God’s blessings to those in their struggles. As a seminarian, he worked with his beloved mentor, Fr. Frank Quinlivan, C.S.C., at the Peace and Justice Center on Chapin St. in South Bend. In his ministry at parishes in the U.S., at the Kroc Center and the Social Concerns Offices or within Campus Ministry at Notre Dame, or working with youth in Uganda, Kenya, and Bangladesh, especially as a devoted formation leader preparing young men for future lives as Holy Cross religious, or his latest passion of bringing hope, together with his good friend Fr. Pat Gaffney, of bringing hope to thousands of young Bengalis dreaming of the possibility of a great education at Notre Dame University Bangladesh, Tom’s message always was “rejoice and be glad for you are God’s children and you are blessed.” Tom was an agent of bringing the Beatitudes to countless around the globe who otherwise were without hope or promise. Tom lived the Beatitudes and passionately fought for those who hungered and thirsted for righteousness.

In his own life, Tom knew suffering and pain and the disappointment of not having all his plans being accepted or implemented. It did not deter him, even to his dying day. This personal awareness, I am convinced, allowed him to reach out all the more effectively and passionately to those who needed the Blessings promised in the Beatitudes.

My friends, we are all blessed to have known this man of God who so joyfully brought so many, including us, to the banquet meal promised by Isaiah and who lovingly and passionately brought the blessings of God promised in the Beatitudes to people across the globe and to us in this Basilica. Tom truly lived both scripture passages. May this good man, Fr. H. Thomas McDermott, C.S.C., rest in peace. 

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Homily for Wake of Fr. Tom McDermott, C.S.C.

By Rev. Paul Kollman, C.S.C.

Welcome to all of you, especially Tom’s family—his sisters Mary Kay, Peggy, Sally, Mary Ann, and brothers Jim and Joe, along with their spouses and members of the larger family. We share your grief at the too-early death of Tom, who was such a buoyant and vital presence for so many of us for many years. 

Matthew 7:7-14

A reading from the holy Gospel according to Matthew.

Jesus said to his disciples,

 “Ask and you will receive; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. 

Which one of you would hand your son a stone when he asks for a loaf of bread, or a snake when he asks for a fish? If you then, who are wicked, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good things to those who ask him?

Do to others whatever you would have them do to you. This is the law and the prophets. 

Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the road broad that leads to destruction, and those who enter through it are many. How narrow the gate and constricted the road that leads to life! And those who find it are few.”

The gospel of the Lord. 

Thank you for joining us to celebrate the life and mourn the too-early death of Fr. Tom McDermott, dear to many of us and many around the world. Tom’s life contained multitudes, and it is hard to properly capture all he did and was. Taking our cue from the Gospel, we know that Tom asked and received, living a life of prayer held in God’s providence. He generously gave to others, like an indulgent father. He sought to love others as he wanted to be loved. And he strove to enter by the narrow gate, unafraid to challenge others who seemed too satisfied, and settled for a wide, comfortable path. 

Tom would have been 74 years old tomorrow and, in a symmetry that would have amused him—and I trust, amuses him now—his birthday and the date his body will enter the earth are the same. Recently he remarked on two other symmetries. First, of his 74 years, half, 37, had been spent outside the US, in Asia and eastern Africa, and half, 37, inside the US. In another symmetry, the 37 abroad have been nearly split between eastern Africa—Kenya and Uganda, mostly—and Asia, mostly Bangladesh. 

Another symmetry of sorts—perhaps better, a tension—arises from how Tom naturally operated as a Holy Cross priest and religious. Tom was independent, unpredictable, and spontaneous. He was so much fun, brought so much joy. Such personalities can struggle in institutional settings, as Tom did at times. As he said at his last public ministry event, July 8, speaking to high school students who were considering a vocation to priesthood and religious life: “I’m pretty much as far left as you can be to have stayed in Holy Cross.” Despite this vital spontaneity—which some found to be easy distractibility—Tom was also, somewhat counterintuitively, remarkably generous to institutions and served them with extraordinary effectiveness. He helped Holy Cross provinces and districts on 3 continents; universities like Notre Dame in Indiana and Notre Dame in Dhaka; parishes, dioceses, and archdioceses in 4 countries; and in various seminaries where he served in Africa and Asia, even as rector. 

This most independent person—endowed with a freedom from constraint that created admirers and detractors—could revere institutions and revile them, sacred and secular. He served them generously and criticized them witheringly. Yes, multitudes were contained in Tom McDermott, as befits one who lives under the Cross, a sign of contradiction.  

I count it as a singular gift of my life that we lived near each other during very significant times for me. First, in the late 1980s when I was a seminarian in Nairobi, Kenya and he was directing the formation program he helped found and then lead there. Then, a decade later in the 1990s when I was teaching for the first time in Uganda and he was pastor of the parish where we lived, then rector of Queen of Apostles Seminary where I taught in Jinja. As he was with so many people, Tom was unfailingly generous to me, treating me gently when my stubbornness could have prompted impatience, challenging me when I was tempted to be complacent. He also preached and spoke in ways that inspired young and old, rich and poor, no matter the level of education. This was how people knew him from Pius X in nearby Granger, to Holy Cross Parish in Dandora, Nairobi; from the University of Notre Dame in northern Indiana to the University of Notre Dame in Dhaka; from seminaries in Jinja and Nairobi to seminaries in Bangladesh and Indiana. He was always himself, and seemingly without effort: attentive and tender to the fragile and vulnerable, and challenging to the comfortable and self-satisfied. 

Besides feeling his tenderness toward me regularly, I saw Tom’s gifts up close bestowed on others. I still see him waiting patiently as a long morning line of petitioners for help in Jinja or Dandora in Nairobi poured out their hearts and needs: old women in wheelchairs, young mothers with multiple infants or toddlers in tow, their children and their sisters, who had died of HIV/AIDs; the unemployed mechanic or notorious neighborhood alcoholic. Like his friend Fr. Frank Quinlivan, C.S.C., who died in Bangladesh in January accompanied by Tom, Tom made the poor laugh and feel loved—a very Christ-like gift.

I also saw and came to know Tom’s own vulnerability, his own fragility—and grieved it with him and for him. Many of his superiors knew this, too, as well as family and friends. Just as Tom accompanied so many, many also accompanied him, some here present. You know who you are. Thanks, from Tom. He liked to repeat something told him by a dear friend, who’s here: “McDermott, you spend half your life apologizing for what you did in the other half.” Though sometimes irascible, he was grateful for compassion, even when he initially resented what felt like interference. 

Very grounded in his Springfield, Illinois, home and blessed by a loving family, Tom gathered rich friendships and an education at Notre Dame, and then went around the world to share the good news. He was led by his faith that the God who loved him, who made the world and forged a covenant and who sent Jesus and the Spirit, that God wanted Tom to go to help Holy Cross to embrace the option for the poor, to forge strong institutions in its parishes and schools, to guide young women and men who wanted to join us, work closely with the Holy Cross family—men and women, priests and brothers and sisters and lay associates and countless others—to do work befitting the reign of God that Christ came to announce and embody. 

There were costs in his going, for Tom was often far from those he loved most, even as he came to love those he met in western Uganda, Nairobi, and Dhaka. Those costs, too, might be contributing to the fact that we mourn him who died young, since he lived in stressful places where other conditions are also hard on one’s health.

There was always deep loneliness in Tom, an ache for companionship. Yet it aged into a remarkable wisdom later in his life. Never losing his passion for the poor and for justice, he accepted limitations, his own and others’, more patiently. 

Yes, multitudes were contained in Tom McDermott, not unlike the multitudes in all who seek to live under the sign of the Cross. Tom also saw such variety and multitudes in the successive St. Thomases whom he came to revere, each of whom he appreciated more at different stages of his life: Doubting Thomas who wondered and then affirmed Christ alive, and finally ended up in south Asia, like Tom; Thomas More—who exasperated a weak-willed king by his zeal for justice and integrity, which cost him his head; then Thomas Aquinas, who taught systematic theology like Tom did—though Aquinas did so only on one continent, not two. That Tom ended up teaching systematic theology surely would have astonished his seminary professors.

Thanks, almighty God, for Tom McDermott, thanks for giving him faith to ask and trust that he would receive. Thanks for the generosity of his extraordinary life and ministry. Thanks for the ways he inspired us and challenged us, leaned on us and allowed us to lean on him. Welcome him to yourself, with his parents and so many loved ones who have gone before him. We trust he will entertain and delight in this next life just like he has in this one. 

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Echoes at the Passing of Fr. Thomas McDermott

By Rev. Patrick Gaffney, C.S.C.

Sharing a few remarks about our brother Thomas Hugh McDermott needs a special ambiance to be understood properly. Setting the stage for describing the unusual qualities that marked his ministry, his generosity, his loyalty, his well-disguised modesty, his dedication to service, his humor, and his deep and contagious confidence in God’s loving care, requires the help of an unregulated picturesque imagination. To follow his lead was always an adventure.  He liked to surround himself, in the places he lived and worked, with pictures of family and friends, living and deceased, set in locations on several continents. Some raw facts will set the scene, but the spirit of the man—which stands out when we remember him—yanks us out of mere biographical enumeration into another dimension. 

Take his family, for instance, and his home town, Springfield, Illinois, which count as the starting points, and which continued to shed a particular light and wholesome warmth on everything else.  As he describes it, Tom grew up rooted in a comfortable traditional Catholic parish setting as the oldest of five siblings. After finishing high school, more or less out of habit, he entered Notre Dame and as the son of his father, enrolled as a pre-med major. Soon, however, he took stock of where he belonged and graduated as a theology major. Much could be said of the way Tom always seemed to bring both the hard and the soft characteristics of “family” to life wherever he was. Many of his college roommates became life-long friends, for example, and over the years, he has kept up with all manner of acquaintances in a most remarkable way.  One quality, along these lines, which I came to admire greatly in Tom was what I think of as the “older brother” gene.  In effect, Tom possessed an extraordinary talent for taking on tasks that were important to others and helping get the job done. It might take more time than you thought or involve complications you didn’t consider, but he was not afraid of responsibility and he kept the final goal in sight.

In today’s terms, this way of serving goes by the name of “accompaniment,” a term that McDermott embodied for the benefit of many who found in him a trustworthy source of guidance, inspiration, and encouragement. Often, within the Community especially, he took upon himself thankless tasks of assisting people who were sick, lost, or in distress, never hesitating to seek further help when necessary.  He had the ability to adapt himself to diverse and difficult situations. He was a fearless and resourceful master in promoting cooperation even among some unlikely and challenging personalities.  These gifts were put to the test very early in his ministry and they were refined experience that also taught him his limits. 

Shortly after ordination, 45 years ago, Tom was sent to a troubled East Africa where he was charged to set up a formation program as the first generation of Holy Cross missionaries had established a solid foundation of parishes and schools that cried out for the inclusion of local religious.  Starting with little more than a shell of a building, a skeleton staff, and a deep reservoir of trust in God which translates as persistence and determination, young Tom with a few confreres, like Tom Smith and George Lucas, began to train young African novices and seminarians in the traditions of Father Moreau. Just last year, what they nurtured through its earliest experimentation became a self-standing new Province.  

Along the way, Tom was centrally involved in initiating or contributing mightily to the success of several thriving projects like the parish at Dandora in Nairobi and Holy Cross Lake View School in Jinja. In the process, he had brushes with certain prominent figures of the day, both the high and the low, including the formidable Idi Amin himself, who showed up one day at the Lake Saaka novitiate in Uganda with his military entourage.  Tom’s admirable facility with colloquial Swahili was certainly one factor in managing this encounter and many others in those perilous days when violence and disorder lurked close at hand. 

Tom’s penchant for blazing new paths and getting things done could and did land him in some notable company also leading to prominent assignments which were not for the faint hearted.  For instance, as the Missionaries of Charity were rapidly expanding out of northeast India in the 1980’s, McDermott was on the ground floor of a voluntary reception team. This gave him the opportunity to meet and talk with Mother Teresa during her visits to Kenya on several occasions.  Later in Uganda, he was also recruited by the pioneering bishop Joseph Willigers of Jinja to assist in handling of delicate cases of clerical discipline which went beyond the mandate of Principal of the Pontifically chartered university, the P.C.J., which was his day job. 

In this setting, always alert to the impact of example on those in formation, Tom, at one point, took it as a duty of pastoral intervention to address what he perceived as an occasional unedifying display of acrimony by one revered older community member toward another.  Fr. Bob Hesse who had spent several decades in the parishes of East Africa evidently had a habit of speaking to the relative newcomer, Fr. Jim Kelly, in a way that disturbed McDermott as he found it demeaning and disrespectful. Thus, in a noble effort at fraternal correction, Tom, as he tells the story, gently urged Hesse not to show his dislike for Kelly by the way he speaks to  him.  But, Hesse was ready and he quickly turned the tables, with a reply that led to a spontaneous moment of self-discovery for Tom himself.  Hesse’s answer was loud and clear: “What do you mean I dislike Jimmy? Why Jimmy and I are buddies. We’re classmates! The one I don’t like is you!”  I mention this self-reported incident because it illustrates another quality about our friend. Tom was not shy about speaking the truth to power, even if his prophetic vocation occasionally missed the mark. So, Tom retreated, but I strongly suspect, beyond the amusement at this unexpected outcome, he savored a lesson from St. Paul, namely, that if we are to boast we should boast of our weaknesses. 

Tom’s many years in East Africa were punctuated several times by shorter and longer intervals at Notre Dame. There he worked with the Center for Social Concerns, Campus Ministry, and the Kroc Peace Institute while residing in a student residence hall.  Typically, he used these occasions, among other things, to connect with favorite projects such as setting up international summer service programs and promoting the cross-province cooperation of priests, brothers, and sisters. In fact, Tom was the main engine in organizing meaningful trips for a number of Notre Dame faculty and administrators. He helped to familiarize them with these mission sites and pointed out their potential for various kinds of collaboration. Many initiatives started then continue today.   

The call to Bangladesh came about 15 years ago, when Fr. Frank Quinlivan, C.S.C., was elected head of the Sacred Heart of Jesus Province and Tom was available for this new challenge. Once again, he came at a moment of transition, as the last of the giants, the aging American and Canadian Holy Cross missionaries were disappearing. In recent times, Frank used to count himself as the sole remaining representative of these “life-long” missionaries, until he too left us at the end of this past January.  

But it’s hardly a stretch to award this same title to Tom who shares the pattern not only in years but in the spirit. When he first arrived in Dhaka, not surprisingly, Tom took to teaching in Bangladesh’s only major seminary, while serving on the formation staff, and acting as an assistant pastor in a parish with a largely ex-patriot congregation.   But increasingly, over the past decade, Tom has made Notre Dame University Bangladesh his major center of activity. Ever the utility infielder and pitch-hitter, he took up many chores, eventually settling as the director of the lively Language Center which combines as a hub for peer tutoring, with a site for conversation practice and a base for learning resources including instructive computer programs, games, magazines and books. 

Fr. Tom, once again, displaying the quality of graceful accompaniment, had the gift of inspiring and empowering students with whom he shared an enthusiasm for learning, for discovery, and for friendship.  By his kindness, his outreach, his energy, his openness, and his unfailing good cheer, he expressed a deep joy born of faith which Scripture tells us is the “substance of things hoped for.”  We were privileged to walk with him for a time and for that, we bless and thank the Lord who has called him home.

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Readers who are interested in sharing their own tributes to Holy Cross missionaries are invited to email the Holy Cross Mission Center at hcmc@holycrossusa.org.

Published: August 20, 2024