We wished to abandon all to follow Christ. We learned in time that we still had it within ourselves to hold back. We wish to be wholehearted, yet we are hesitant.
Holy Cross Constitutions I:8
Rev. John Gerber, C.S.C., former rector of Moreau Seminary and longtime spiritual director, focused my attention years ago on my call from God. When I was most hesitant to believe God was calling me, he told me, “Don’t ever take for granted the call you heard from God as a teenager.” Fr. Gerber died in 1995, yet his words remain imprinted on my heart. I go back to his advice with gratitude for what God has offered me – hope for what is to come in my vocation.
Our call to religious life is a sheer gift. We cannot create or sustain such a message from God on our own. It is a voice that can easily grow dim when we do not pay attention. It is a longing that grows weak when we think it comes from our own ego. Our call may be taken for granted when we no longer cultivate our desire for God, when prayer and patience have left us. Our call may recede when loneliness washes over us, or melt in the heat of anger, shame, fear, and regret.
As I examine God’s call within me, I see how many times God has revived it. When I grow slack or weary, God invites me to surrender to love alone. When I despair, I tug on the history of this call. There have been new terrains upon which it has thrived. God revived my priesthood on concrete, when I began my ministry in Oregon among people living outside, listening to folks suffering mental illness. God revitalized and deepened my call yet again when I pastored a parish in Colorado.
I carry the call with me in all my moves around the country and changes in pastoral life. God’s call in my heart becomes the first thing I unpack in a new place, naming it another time, alone in my prayer and among others in our sacramental life. As I look back, I see how God revived my call as I listened discreetly in confessionals or walked alongside a widow in a cemetery to bury her husband. I view my call with fresh eyes when a stranger asks to speak to me and grace washes my hesitant reaction with compassion. My call is not a static, one-time message from God. It has not been stored away on a shelf or hidden in a shoebox with old photos. God’s call is active and vibrant today, changing colors and perspectives when I most need to deepen love within me as I age.
After all these years, I still feel a new, deeper layer of my call when I encounter a conversation or situation that is wholly genuine. One such moment happened in July 2023, as I began my ministry at Holy Cross House. I shared breakfast with Fr. Jamie Irwin, C.S.C., who ministers in Mexico among God’s elderly poor. We shared a diverse conversation along with eggs and toast. Then he looked at me and said, “You will be taken by your calling.” That sentiment, the truth and the love expressed in those few words, caught my imagination and lodged within me. In the following days, I could not silence that holy sentence in my thoughts and heart, and later that week I painted the words on canvas, needing to externalize such a rich statement of love. That canvas hangs in my room by my place of prayer, and I ponder it every day.
In my ministry at Holy Cross House, I now see the completion of God’s call in our brothers and priests. I listen to my brothers tell the stories that provide meaning in old age. I see how the beauty of God changed them. In our house the call is vital, and the Holy Spirit breathes hope in diminished bodies. No matter their past ministries, my brothers still grapple with God’s abiding grace and compassionate presence.
As I age, I feel my heart tethered to God’s call within me. I am deeply aware of how God is taking my life, my prayer, my skills and talents, my hope and regrets, and drawing me toward places I would rather not go. Now I see the pull toward heaven, but first anchored in complete and honest surrender to God in the life I am living now. Being taken is not just at the end of life, but in every day when I have the courage and faith to allow God to find me. God’s call within me, this golden thread of grace, is leading me deeply to God’s presence in the here and now, and ultimately taking me home.
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About:
Rev. Ronald Patrick Raab, C.S.C., serves as religious superior of Holy Cross House, our retirement and medical facility at Notre Dame, Indiana. He is an award-winning author, blogger, and visual artist. Learn more: ronaldraab.com
Artwork:
Fr. Ron created this version of “You will be taken by your calling” in 2024. The original is on display at our Holy Cross Generalate in Rome, Italy. This image invites us to reflect on our call from God and the many challenges in our vocations. Fr. Ron’s artwork has been published in parishes, dioceses, and ecumenical settings around the world.
Published January 2025
